Forgotten Memories
by Violette Mai
Summary: It's been five years since the Endless Waltz War, and Odin Lowe Jr. is in search of his missing memories. 1x2
1. Chapter 1

Forgotten Memories

Author: Violette Mai

A/N: Welcome fellow Fanfictioners! ^.^ Its been a while since I have posted anything at all on But, I am BACK! I hope I did okay, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! I apologize for any grammar/spelling errors. When you are finished reading, Please, REVIEW and let me know what you think!

A dark blue car turned off the pavement and onto the gravel road. Tall trees with their large branches hung overhead, lining both sides of the narrow road and scattering all threw out the site. The driver glanced out the windows as he drove by. A small camp ground was to the left, empty of any campers. The toddler park at the edge of the camp site was empty of any laughter and running children. A long field stretched covering the rest of the land. Bright yellow dandelions were scattered mixing with tiny deep purple flowers. To the right he saw the volley ball park, tall grass and weeds growing in the cold sand. Thick wooded areas covered the rest of the field. Finally the car stops at the end of the road, which turned into a counter sack. Over the tall grass he could just barely see the beginning of the lake, and hear the howls the strong winds and crashing waves created.

Still sitting in the car, grasping the steering wheel he stares out the window, watching, observing. He looks over at the boat dock to the left. It was just like the rest of the park. Empty. The brown log house, that stood across the round clearing stood tall.. two stories high with a huge porch hanging off the back steps. A place that probably once served as a summer vacation house, or a place of celebration. Straight ahead between the house and boat dock and over the tall grass he could just see the beginning of the large lake.

After pulling his keys out the ignition, Odin Lowe Jr. Stepped out of the car and stood, the harsh winds whipping at his wild brown hair.

A weird feeling crept up his spine and tickled his brain. Almost like déjà vu. He's been here before. Everything was so familiar, but at the same time he had no recognition once so ever. Not a face, not a name, not even a timeline nor memory. But he knew this place. He has been here before. What brought him here... how did he know the way?

That was how life has always been for Odin. He awoke one summer evening, with no memories. Just this urgent feeling of Run, Run! And that's what he did. He left the hospital without ever looking back. It wasn't until a few days later that the words Odin Lowe came tumbling out of his mouth after he bumped into someone. While he was helping them gather their things off the ground the stranger held out a hand and asked for his name. The words just spilt from his lips and he wasn't even sure if that was his real name, but it stuck and eventually grew on him.

With no credits and no friends and family to rely on he went through some tough times. He was weak and under nourished , so he guessed he was in a coma for quit a while. It made it hard to find work, so he had to settle with taking what he needed. When he got stronger and could find someone to hire him without a background check, even if it was only a few days here and there he took the work. No questions asked.

Moving place to place he found out how much people talked. There was always something to be gossiped about. Odin found it irritating, but from what he gathered from news and papers, he awoke a little over a year after the war ended. The earth and colonies were on the path of peace. That thought alone comforted him, but he didn't completely understand it. He has various scars all over his body that made him believe he could have been a soldier at one point. What he didn't know, was what side he fought for. Odin didn't look too far into it. Something told him he didn't want to know. So for the past four years he has been drifting colony to colony, from country to country until he settled into North America just within this the past year. It hasn't always been easy, but it hasn't always been too hard either. He had a natural instinct for survival.

Does he ever regret his actions? Not really. When he had left the hospital the clip board hanging off the end of the bed had him listed as a John Doe. No contacts, no history. He use to wonder who he left behind, but with no memory of his former life he felt it was better to just move on. It was better to disappear then live each day living a life with hopeful stares on him. It was better not to torture those that might have cared for him. To start fresh and start a new life full of memories that hopefully, this time around will stay for good.

Gently shaking his head to rid of his lonely thoughts his Prussian blue eyes looked towards the lake. Walking to the fairly large area in between the House and Boat Dock he saw the beach was just through the weeds and just less then a foot down. Carefully walking down to the beach that was only a foot or so out, and 20 feet wide, he had hoped for something, to recover just a glimpse of memory.

Before this day, Odin had never felt this close to remembering anything. He often wondered what his life was like before, but to have an inch away from his finger tips was something entirely new.

Looking around the lake, he was searching his brain for even a glimpse of memory. Nothing came. A few hundred feet out he watched the large white birds notice him, not liking his close presence they start to drift further from reach.

The cold waters of the lake reached out to the horizon, tall trees hanging over the edges. There was clouds in the horizon, threatening a down pour with their dark hue. Staring at the clouds his heart felt so heavy, why? A gust of air pushes past and he spread his arms out wide, embracing the harsh winds that race off the lake towards the beach. Closing his eyes he stood there, with the winds trying to push him over. He couldn't grab a hold of the wind, like he couldn't understand this indescribable feeling. I've been here... he thought. He tries to imagine standing there, his heels digging in the sand. But he couldn't. Still, not a memory recovered even though he felt like it was here. All there was here, was the smell of crisp air mingling with the small decaying catfish that drifted ashore to their final resting places.

He felt the strong need to know why it was all so familiar, and he knew he wouldn't find the answers out by staring out into nothingness. Turning his back to the water he walked back to the car, looking down the road in which he came. That very long road that lead him here with more questions then answers. Why did he follow this path.. What lead him to this place? But when he looked out to the grounds there still wasn't another soul. The small park was empty just like the volley ball set and camping site. Immediately to his right, at the end of the field alongside the lake was another play ground with slides, climbing rope latters and a tire swing. He walked to it, and freezes as he was about to pass a wooden fence guiding him down the small dirt path.

(Heavy breathing, the sound of blood pumping in his ears. Gripping the fence for support. Heart beating wildly within its cage.)

That's when he knew that he was on this path once before. It was like a glimpse into his past that made him weak at the knees. He looked within himself once more for answers but nothing came, yet It all felt so real.

Regaining his strength he continued on to the clearing of weed flowers and green grass until he reached the wooden play set. It looked smaller up close. He guessed himself to about 22 or 23 years old. And people his age do not play on children's play ground. Sitting on the nearby picnic table with his hands deep within his pockets, once again he finds himself staring out to the lake. At this side there was a thin beach that didn't come a foot in. Rusted wires and wood blanks littered the waters. Swimmer Booeys danced in the waves. It didn't look like this place had been used for swimming in a while. Even though, something about this place entranced him. He didn't want to leave without answers. Closing his cobalt blue eyes he tried to remember anything. A voice, a memory, anything to help him ease this aching feeling deep within his heart.

A loud scream shook him from his thoughts, spinning around his eyes danced around the area until landing on the swings. They swung harshly again as another strong wind flew across the land. Shaking the rusting chains and making them bellow out a deep screech as it rubbed against the bolt hooks. Odin snuggled closer into his black sweater to shield himself better.

("Heero!" a shout echoed in his brain, and he could see a blur of long chestnut hair flowing free.)

Coming back to the present his eyes burned as a sudden hole opened within his chest. The feeling of missing someone, so bad that it hurt. But he didn't understand why, and who he was missing.

Taking a shaky breath trying to calm his racing heart as he remembered one thing; whoever it was had long chestnut colored hair.

Leaning his head back he stared up to the heavens. Gray clouds were now above him stretching out over the sky, no longer hiding in the horizon. The sun hid behind them as it made its descend under the horizon. Splash of pinks and purple rays finding there way to shine through. Sunset skies can be just as beautiful as those most particular shade of cobalt eyes. Pause. What? Where did that thought come from, he wondered. Eyes, such unforgettable eyes. Deep searching eyes that knew so much about him, that he was sure.

A sprinkle dropped down, splashing his cheek, another one followed landing in his eyes. He blinked them away, the memory of those cobalt blue eyes already fading from his vision. It almost felt like a birthday you were trying to remember by detail that happened 10 years ago. You know it happened, you sort of remember the important events, but otherwise… nothing.

He couldn't explain the sudden hole that opened up within his soul. An empty space left oozing that he didn't know how to fix. He has never felt so lonely, and forgotten. This desperation for answers. These quiet cries for help. What ever he lost was important, and he was missing it.

He felt these crushing feelings that threatened to squash him. He felt sorrow for not remembering. Not remembering something so special.

All he had remembered was images of chestnut hair and cobalt eyes looking at him with warmth. No clear image, but even through the fog that draped his own eyes from the past he couldn't forget that sparkling smile. Who was it?

A chill ran down his spine and he realized how chilly it got. The warm rays of sun finally gone, a curtain of darkness has descended the land. Croaks of frogs could be heard in the distant. Time has passed him bye but the hole was forever there, deep within his chest. Constricting.

A deep sigh blew past his lips.

His body was now damp with the light drizzle the clouds have dropped on him. It was time to go home. He straightened his back, placed his palms down against the table to push himself up when he felt it. Looking down, he looked to see his fingers had brushed against a deep carving into the wood of the picnic table. Sloppy handy work probably done with a pocket knife and poor penmanship. Squinting his eyes to try and see better in the dark he was suddenly startled by what he saw.

"Duo Maxwell + Heero Yuy" with a heart scratched around them.

"Duo.. Duo Maxwell." The name sounded so familiar on his tongue, and a flash of memory that came and went faster then he could blink. Those images will forever burn the back of his eyelids. Cobalt eyes, dancing with laughter. Perfect shaped lips turned upwards in a carefree smile.

("Heero, lets go over here! C'mon, nobody's watching!" a figure pointed towards a brown painted fence. It led a dirt path alongside a wooded cluster of trees, probably to prevent people from going in. "Well don't just stare at me! Come here!"

And the image got closer.

Closer.

Until he was up close to a beautiful face.)

That's when he realized, he was looking in the eyes of Duo Maxwell. A Heart shaped face with chestnut brown hair, cobalt eyes and a smile that warmed his heart.

*OWARI*

Please remember to Review! Thank you for reading!

3


	2. Lost

Forgotten memories

Chapter 2: Lost

Note: I probably should tell you all, I am doing this without a beta-reader. *shameful smile* so it there are plenty of possible mistakes ahead, well, oops? Teheh

I love getting reviews, good or bad. Especially when my readers catch a mistake that I have missed.

And, knowing that no one goes to my page to look, I better say it here too just in case, I DO NOT OWN GW!!

Spring was over, and hot days with bright sunshine had arrived. Life has been the same but at the same time, different for Odin. On the good side, ,he got a full time job at a book store right down the street from his studio apartment. There was a nice old lady that ran the small store, her name was Marcia. She was the kind of woman that believed in second chances and believed strongly in people and what they could achieve. It has been three months since Odin had a glimpse of his past and of a man named Duo Maxwell. He was slightly disappointed, he thought he would have remembered more. Even though he remembered a face, and a name, he still felt miserably lost.

Odin couldn't understand the feelings that opened up within him since that day. He went back several times hoping that some memory would resurface but nothing ever came. And as each day passed, the color of those cobalt blue eyes seemed to fade just a little more. Trying to remember those eyes, that smile was becoming more difficult, and there was one thing he knew for sure. He did not want to forget.

That was another thing that changed.

Before that day, Odin wasn't that interested in returning to his past life. Ya, he thought of it on occasion, but nothing meaningful. He didn't wonder if he went to school, or what his parents might have been like, because judging by the scars that littered his pale body he didn't feel he had a normal childhood. But no matter how terrifying life he might have lived he now wanted to remember. If knowing what life he lived, and where these scars came from meant he could just remember Duo, then it was worth it. He wanted to know. He wanted to know Duo Maxwell. The name itself gave him hope.

"Odin? Its six o'clock. We can close down now." Odin looked over at Marcia. She was shorter then him, about 4 inches or so. She has gray hair that curled around her face but the rest was pinned up in a bun. She looked back at him through her thin framed glasses and smiled.

"Were you lost in your dreams again?" She chuckled.

("Are you lost, mister?" a children's voice asked. A white pup barked in the background, and its voice echoed.

"I've been lost my whole life.")

"Lost?" Odin questioned, confused. Yes, yes of course he was lost. He's been living a life as Odin Lowe Jr. for four years, not even sure if that was his real name. Not sure where he came from, what he left behind.

"Are you feeling okay, your not looking too well there." Marcia asked concerned, placing her hand on his forehead. "And you do feel a bit warm. Why don't I finish up here, you go ahead and go home."

"But-"

"There is no buts young man! Now shoo!"

After being ushered out the store by Marcia, Odin was left standing on the sidewalk in front of the book store. He was about to turn around and make sure it was okay for him to leave when the 'Books of Wonder" sign flicked off, and he saw her pointing a finger at him, signaling him to leave. He turned and started the short walk home. It was only a few blocks away, six at the most. Living on a budget he rarely ever took the car to work, only to the grocery store and on his small cruises. Odin liked to travel, to see new things and experience new things. But as each day came and went, he found himself liking this small town more and more. The closed down camping site, which he found to be called Benton Park was only a 20 minute drive away and it was the only clue to Duo Maxwell, and possibly his past.

Sometimes he wondered if Duo missed him? Did Duo ever wonder what happened? Did Duo ever search for him? He stopped, now that was a foolish thought. It's been 4 years since he left that hospital and even so, he couldn't remember when or for how long he even know Duo. Squash that little hope before it's blossomed. It would save himself from heart ache later. Even if Duo would search for him, Odin doubted it would be easy to find him. He has been using a name that just fell out of his mouth one day. Thanks for the Vice foreign Minister for creating the "soldiers to comrades' program it made it much easier for soldiers to ease into everyday living life. It was highly confidential for the safety of each person. Even though he wasn't even sure if he was a soldier, it was his best bet of starting over. He signed up on his third year of travel, and things have been slightly easier ever since. He is now recorded as Odin Lowe, was able to get an apartment and even a drivers license. The whole process took only a few months without that much hassle.

Locking the door behind him, his eyes searched around his apartment. Some might call it paranoid, he liked to think he was just being safe. You can never trust people these days.

His apartment wasn't fancy, but decent for 1000 Credit's a month. He was standing in the kitchen area, where the stove and sink was alongside the wall. Out across the room his bed was placed in the corner, next to the bathroom door. A worn out couch was placed off to the side with a bunny-eared Tv. On good days he might be able to pick up a few channels, but most days it was just a buzz.

Kicking off his shoes he walked across the room and flopped down on the single bed, pulling the sheets up to his chin. He did feel a little cold, and tired. He's been having trouble sleeping lately, his mind always floats to the "what ifs".

What would he do if he found Duo? Things wouldn't be the same as they were before the coma. It's been so long, that Duo must have moved on. And its not like he knew for sure what kind of relationship they had. Friends, dating? Odin didn't necessarily know if he himself was… gay? He knew he was open to love. He wanted someone to share his days with, to share meals and a warm home with. Even with all the questions, he knew that there was something special about Duo.

There was one problem, one he didn't like to think about. Who was Heero Yuy? Any person who would have seen the heart would have guess what he did, and that was that Heero and Duo were together. So if that true, what about Odin? That thought alone made his heart clench.

What if Duo really had moved on? Where would that leave him? He could possibly be putting too much faith in the hands of someone he did not know. Dreaming too big, and setting himself up for heart break. He found himself obsessed, he felt like the answers were right there, in front of his face but he had no clue what he was looking for.

Heero Yuy. Heero was a whole different problem. If that was Duo's love interest… but what? It didn't make sense. Odin knew that Heero Yuy was a famous politician who took the seat as the colonies Chief Representative in AC165. And in AC174 Heero started the colonies independence movement. Tragically Heero Yuy was assassinated in April of AC175. That was long ago! The last war started in AC196 and Heero Yuy was already dead by then. So who was Duo's, Heero Yuy? If Odin were to assume that Heero Yuy was an alias, then how could he be sure that Duo's real name is Duo Maxwell?

This was giving him a head ache. Odin will have to do more research on the wars, maybe that could help him out? Closing his eyes he tried to clear his mind. It was time to take a break, he wasn't getting any answers just thinking about it. Rolling on his side he laid there, and did nothing but breathe. Deep breath. Exhale. Deep breath. Exhale.

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_The sun is high in the sky, basking the earth in warm rays. Only a few clouds drifted in the sky, by nightfall the sky should be clear. His chest rises heavily up and down from the adrenaline rush. He can't help the laughter that bursts from his lips. Today will be a good day for him, he did everything right. He won't have to worry about a thing._

_A shadow blocked the warm sun and he opened his eyes and looked up. A small girl around 7 or 8 stood back, looking at him expectably. She wore a white summer dress with a large sunhat covering her face. _

"_Are you lost?" She asks, tugging back a leash with a small white pup attached to it trying to jump towards him. _

"_Marie, stop it!" the pup cowers slightly, laying down it whines still sticking his nose out trying to get a swift of his sense. The girl laughs cheerfully. _

_As Odin jumped up to his feet to look at the girl and her dog, Marie he noticed her gaze never left him. They stood like that for a few seconds, staring at each other. Besides the wind blowing in their ears, there was silence._

"_I said, are you lost?" She repeated herself._

_He stops and thinks, before slowly answering._

"_I've been lost as far back as I can remember." He answered back, not sure if she could decipher his words. She nods at him, finally tearing her eyes away. Dropping down she ruffles the fur on Marie's back to get his spirits back up. It works. He jumps into her lap, licking her face. She smiles and replies,_

"_That's sad. Me and Marie aren't lost. We live near here." Plucking a yellow flower she quickly shoves it into his hand before turning around and running off. Before she makes it out of sight entirely, she turns around and waves, Marie jumping around her feet. "You'll find your way!" Was her final words before running off into the distant, leaving him there to stare silently at the flower in his hand._

_1111111111111111111111111_

_A magnificent explosion lit the night sky bright orange and rocked the ground for miles. He stumbled but catched himself, standing tall as the main target started to collapse in on itself. Then unexpectedly the building starts to lean sideways. He throws the hand held detonator to the ground, running forward with a shout. It's too late, there's nothing he can do. The building smashes down into the civilian house complex, and they both crumbled to the ground. A mobile suit explodes, igniting several others. A huge cloud of smoke and ash sweep the area and up over the hills. He throws himself to the ground in a tuck position, waiting for the main blast to be over. When he feels the debris has settled, he finally looks up to the damage he caused. _

_Not only did the enemy base explode with the mobile suits, but he manage to hit a civilian complex. Something went wrong, and it was his fault. He didn't set the bombs right, and for that innocent lives have been lost._

_During the sweep through after the blast, he found marie. Laying on the ground, ash snowing down upon the mingled body. His fur was filthy, and thick with drying blood. _

"_Are you lost, mister?"_

"_I said, are you lost?"_

"_Are you lost?"_

"_lost."_

_The sky that should have been clear that night was dark, and covered with ash clouds of destruction._

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"Yes! I am lost!"

Odin woke up with a start. Clawing his way out of bundled bed sheets, sweat pouring down his face. His knuckles gripping the sheets, as he breathed heavily, trying to catch his breath. Prussian eyes glistened in the moons glow.

He truly was lost.


End file.
